Do you have a business card?

I hope you appreciate frankness and honesty. There are people who have not spoken to me since I answered a similar question for them.

The photo is in slightly soft focus, which strikes me as an odd decision. People are used to seeing very crisp pictures in advertising, and associate it with professionalism.

I like the idea of using the theremin to partially frame the text, but I am concerned that when the cards are printed more of the image might be cropped than you anticipated. As it is, slicing little bits off the bottoms of the knobs and volume loop looks a bit messy. It tends to lead the eye off the bottom of the card, looking for the missing bits. If you're going to cut something in half, be bold and cut it exactly in half, don't just shave a little bit off - that looks like bad photography.

The choice of font is appropriate, but the kerning (the spacing between letters in a word) is not good. The gap between the C and the E in VOICE is too tight, for example, and the bottom line almost appears to say MUSIC THE ORY LESSONS. Now that I have mentioned that I bet you can find some other examples.

I am guessing that the white MEB is there to fill a blank space. It is out of keeping with the rest of the text and does not need to be there. Remember the maxim "white space sells."

The majority of the text is floating in free space, apparently unconnected to anything. Lining things up with other things gives them a sense of connectedness, and gives a rhythm and structure to the composition.

Vanity aside, I do agree with your feeling that you should have included a picture of yourself. You are very photogenic, and memorable with your wonderful mass of corkscrew hair.

N.B. I appreciate that some of these points are a result of your choice of business card website. I went for streetcards.co.uk because they print on fairly heavy stock and offer a subtle matt lamination (which large solid areas of black need if they're not going to look naff.) And I was pleased with their product when I made some cards a few years ago.

The downside is that they are a little more costly, and I spent six hours using Photoshop to meet my own standards. That may not be everyone's preferred course of action.

Margaret,

This is a nice business card idea.

Will it be printed in grayscale or color? If in grayscale you might consider more contrast. If printed in color be sure to have a good color balance between the 3 most important aspects of the card. 1. The image, 2. the back ground, and the most important aspect would be 3. the text. The text should be designed to be very much forward of everything else. For instance if a subtle softening effect is desired you should apply it to the image and background only and leave the text sharp and crisp. This will make the text almost leap off the card rather than becoming part of the background.

It might look better to have the whole Theremin included on the card rather than cropping part of it off. Don’t worry about the pitch antenna let it flow off the card and orientate the image so the volume loop and the right edge of the Theremin fill the bottom of the card from left to right.

You might consider the priority of the list of services you provide and place the service which has the most potential for profit at the top. I would think the vocal\piano lessons would be high on the list. If this card was made for me the order would be as follows:

1. Voice & Piano Lessons
2. Vocal\Stage Coaching
3. Music Theory Lessons
4. Theremin Performance

Just some random thoughts.

Sam Harris - Greenville NC
www.parkerschapel.org

Thank you both, Gordon and Sam. I have a lot to consider the next time I order cards! I know for it was very important to get them out quickly as I waited so long to get cars for myself, and my haste has shown itself. As to the cropping decision, I know I am not selling the cards for profit, but I wondered about the legality of having a Moog logo on my card, and I also thought the logo might be distracting. You are right about the kerning, now you mention it, Gordon. None of the inconsistencies were obvious in the online proof I viewed prior to payment being taken. To answer one of your questions, Sam, the image is grayscaled. And the cards are much crisper than the photo image, including the image. I think the idea of moving the pitch rod off the card is odd, if I may be so frank, simply because it is so characteristic of the idea of the theremin. I think your best suggestion is to reconsider the order of my list of services, based on profit. As to your alternate order, you guessed correctly. By the way, we are all still friends here, Gordon and Sam! Who would be petty enough to cease "speaking" to someone over constructive criticism?

Yes, but what of the tiny dab of ginger jam on the back! Oh! What is a card without a place to fool all the 'hippies'. "What a world, whaat aa wooorld!"

Seriously, I hope your cards are a hit, and bring you much commerce.
good luck,
teslatheremin

I would not have made my suggestions if more care had been taken in reading your post. I missed the fact that you had already placed an order; therefore, it was assumed you were still in the creative or design stage.

Concerning this sentence: "Don’t worry about the pitch antenna let it flow off the card and orientate the image so . . . ." Should have read "Don’t worry about the pitch antenna let it flow off the TOP OF THE card and orientate the image so . . . ." You are right it would seem weird to eliminate the antenna!

Thank you for not taking offence. Your comment of “What do you think of my design?” was directed at Gordon and maybe I should not have added my 2 cents worth. Oh well ! 2 cents isn’t worth much to begin with. :-)

I love mature people...

Sam Harris - Greenville NC
www.parkerschapel.org