Netiquette & Protocols

I don't want to re-open a can o' worms but there's something I wanted to ask the group about internet protocols, privacy and netiquette. 

When a newbie nobody knows goes onto an open public forum, introduces him or her self, and politely asks a group for advice, is it a good idea for any single member of that group to immediately contact the individual privately and continue the discussion off-line? 

Then, when that member feels RIGHTLY or WRONGLY that the newbie's response is inappropriate, publish the presumably PRIVATE correspondence (which the member initiated) and post it to the very same forum that the member, for whatever reason, did not want to use in the first place?

I'm neither condemning nor condoning anybody. I have seen this kind of thing happen before in other forums and special interest groups. My question is general and theoretical and applies to any group anywhere, so PULLLEEEEEZE don't try to recycle yesterday's garbage. That's over and done with! 

This is not about any specific person, it's about all of us.

I would say that putting up private correspondence is not the thing to do... usually. I'm guessing we all agree with that in principle. But... When the private correspondence is WAY out of line I think it's good for the community to know what they're dealing with. So in that sort of case, yeah, I'm alright with it.

I understand your point of view and it is a valid one. In this case, this poster didn't mention its address, full name nor its bank account number, we have no idea what this person looks like if this "person" is male or female. All we have is a fictious name with no Website attached to his profile, so to me it could be "ANYBODY". If that person gave me more personal info, I wouldn't have done this ~ I was only hoping to spare people from verbal abuse from "ANYHOO" on this forum, cause their messages were bordering harrassing. I do know that posting a private conversation is not a great thing to do, sincerely, I didn't think it was invading that "character"'s privacy since we know absolutely nothing personnal about (other than being rude and living in Toronto).

We have messaging, so I thought that directly messaging the person was a "safe" thing. Why would I need to ask myself if I can send a private message to someone or not?

As a point of information - not as anonymous as all that. It took me about five minutes on google to come up with a name, business website, address and phone number and a twitter account that hasn't been used for three months.

After 5 minutes searching I am 90% sure I have the right person - it would take longer to be 99.9% sure and I'm not that interested, to be honest. 

Couple of amusing finds though - a tweet expressing the opinion that no internet communication is confidential - along the lines of "if you don't want it splashed all over a popular newspaper, don't write it in an email" Well, I guess he ignored his number one rule, so I don't feel at all like questioning the decision to share his private communications.

Also, the primary qualities of his business are accountability, responsibility and trust. Ha!

“Putting something onto the www is a bit like telling your wife in the heat of an argument that you never loved her. Once you've done it, you can never take it back and it will never go away!”

Who’s Online etiquette are we going to use? I am willing to take down my naked selfy if you do.

Gordon, you are most probably right about the guy's identity, I found the same. But that's not the question here.

What happened was a client entering a grocery store and asking for fowl. They obviously hadn't. But one of the store's other clients pulled him aside, whispering: "I don't have any fowl, too, but I can help you in finding some fine seafood elsewhere!"

Who would not be bothered by either the unusual form or the inapplicable content this unsolicited approach?

I can't understand why Amey hasn't simply and clearly written in public:

"AFAIK there are no theremin teachers in your area. But there are several Thereminists which offer Skype lessons: Thomas Grillo => Link and Carolina Eyck => Link. Would that be an option for you?"

In that way, everything had been said without misleading in the public discussion thread and holophrastic could have simply replied "Thank you, but that's not what I'm looking for."

... And we wouldn't have this discussion now...

Conclusion for me: it wasn't a good idea to contact the unknown individual behind the scenes. This led to misunderstanding and finally to a bad situation for both. I think that private messages are there to exchange personal information between members who know one another for a long time, but not for cold calling.

Apparently, the person in question didn't do much research to know that theremin teachers are not something that is found on every corner of the street. I went with the fact that he probably looked to see if there was one available where the requestor's residence was, and since that person didn't find one one the WWW, he asked for one on the forum.

I must add, you are incorrect: Cold calling is to sollicitate people that have not requested anything in the first place. The person did requested info/teacher availability on a forum. I did not do a "cold call". At best, I did a warm call.

Sure, it is so easy to say what you would have done on your side after the facts are out there for you to see... 20-20 Hindsight is a beautiful thing.The same goes for you Thierry: why haven't you said yourself to the poster there are no theremin teachers available around where he is? Anyhow, I deleted the exchange of messages on the other thread so that the bickering can finally stop. I had enough of one person crapping on my head by offering my help, I certainly do not need the people on this forum to do it as well.

Thierry, since you are the Moderator on this forum, if you feel that I have misused the messaging system in such terrible way ~ *please* feel free to come up and post a protocol on that very subject that everyone can follow.

With all the potty mouth that spews from some peoples mouths I can't figure why this could be upsetting with a few, please tell us all what is going on? Will there be constructive change to the theremin forums. Is it possible to put the Class back in the classic theremin or just accept the fact that we all have our own skewed realities.

Christopher

Christopher ~ Are you addressing me?

Hi Amey, I have had a cold all week so more delirious than usual, I do not think you have a potty mouth. Just trying to figure out what the glum of concern is about found in this thread, the Internet is the new frontier with wild animals that bite people sometimes.

My question is why is this time more significant than other times?

Christopher