use less jokes

Posted: 3/30/2007 3:32:54 PM

From: Kansas City MO USA

Joined: 11/26/2006

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?


And the reply:

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoringloudly.wavfiles.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0, Lingerie 10.0 and Sex 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:42:49 AM
Charlie D

From: England

Joined: 2/28/2005

The syllable LOL springs to mind. :)
Posted: 4/13/2007 2:41:44 PM

From: Jax, FL

Joined: 2/14/2005

When Husabnd 1.0 tried to access Mistress 2.2 Wife 3.0 disabled Husband 1.0 and erased Mistress 2.2 completely.

Wife 3.0 then automatically downloaded Lawyer 8.1, which deleted half of Husband 1.0's files and relocated Husband 1.0 to the cache.

We now have to work out a file-sharing routine for kids 2.3.
Posted: 4/13/2007 2:51:51 PM

From: bristol, England

Joined: 3/18/2006

I stopped my self before but i have to say it now.


Posted: 4/13/2007 5:01:51 PM

From: Kansas City, Mo.

Joined: 8/23/2005


... and I got the joke!

(oh no... I may be a geek...)

q: What did one battery say to the other?
a: Go to your poles and volt!

Posted: 4/13/2007 5:42:28 PM

From: Croxley Green, Hertfordshire, UK

Joined: 10/5/2005

Two atoms are walking down the road, and one says, "Hold on, I've just lost an electron."

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"Yeah, I'm positive."

Hmm. Just googled for geekiest joke ever and found this. I understood it...

[i]Hamlet via De Morgan's laws: Not ( (not to be) and (to be) )[/i]

(Which is true for any value of "to be".)

Posted: 4/13/2007 6:19:29 PM

From: bristol, England

Joined: 3/18/2006

God, Allah, Thor, Ometeotl, Krishna, Muhammad, Zoroaster, Yahweh, The Trinity(ain't that a mixed up idea!) etc. help me!

Oo no they dont exist(in my opinion blah blah) so they cant help!
Posted: 4/13/2007 7:57:46 PM

From: Kansas City, Mo.

Joined: 8/23/2005

Waiter: Would you like something to drink before dinner?

René Descartes: I think not.

** poof! **
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:13:06 PM

From: Jax, FL

Joined: 2/14/2005

Q: What weapon can you make from the Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?

A: KNiFe.
Posted: 4/13/2007 9:17:10 PM

From: Jax, FL

Joined: 2/14/2005

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?"
Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream".
Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream -- how about with no milk?"

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